Fear

Fear.

It's a part of all our lives. Sometimes it hides in the background waiting to jump out, and sometimes it is at the top of our mental thoughts every day.  I have a fear of a lot of random things, but most of all, fear of failure.  I'm the first to admit it: I'm a perfectionist. I like to do things my way, 150%, all the time. I like the word perfect. It makes me think of everything organized correctly in a neat little box.

Sadly, life doesn't wok that way most of the time.  There are a lot of things I've failed at in life, and some of them I've been hesitant to try. Others I've taken up on a whim, and I've surprised myself with my successes.

Teddy Roosevelt once said, "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

I've known both victories and defeats, high seas and low seas, and all of the analogies to Asia and back, but fear does play a large part in all of this.

Take lacrosse for example. I'll be honest, I've disappointed myself big time this Spring.  I decided not to play lacrosse because I knew that the Coach was not fond of me, and I was cut last year, and the year before that in a way that said, "Good luck trying out when you have nowhere else to go.".  Granted, I have the excuse of being out of the country twice during the season, but I'm still disappointed that I didn't even try. To even try and maybe fail, or maybe try and succeed.  So what if I had been cut? I would still be in the same exact position I am right now.  But what if I had worked hard, played harder, and given the Coach no reason but to put me on the team? My fear of failure and the little voice in my head has won this time.  Thankfully, I have one more year to play, and I'm not going to talk myself out of it again. I truly do miss lacrosse, as it has been an integral part of my life since seventh grade.  I remember the excitement I felt when I made the JV team as one of five eighth graders,  and some parts of this spring will be hard, but knowing that there's always next year helps.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? How do you control your fears?

xoxo,

Royar

{The Young Southern Prep}