September 25, 2009

There's magic in a Grandmother's touch,

And sunshine in her smile.

There's love in everything she does

To make our lives worthwhile.

We can find both hope and courage

Just by looking in her eyes.

Her laughter is a source of joy,

Her words are warm and wise.

There is a kindness and compassion

To be found in her embrace,

And we see the light of heaven

Shining from a Grandmother's face. 

Please note, this is going to be a very somber post. I do not mean to upset anyone.

On September 25th, 2009, I wore a Ralph Lauren White Oxford, a J Crew Paisley Skirt, and Brown Ballet Flats. I had a Geometry test that day. I had a Happy Club lunch meeting. I was getting ready to see my Brother the next weekend.

On September 25th, 2009, my Grandma passed away.

There are no words that can describe what my Grandma was to me.  A mother figure, after PM of course, the coolest woman in the whole world and a loving, doting Mother of three and Grandmother to five beautiful grandchildren. She loved to play the piano and although I gave up playing formally in the seventh grade, I still love to sit and play and think of her. Grandma was a very adventurous woman, having lived in Japan for three years, as well as in Hawaii, Florida and Colorado. She also passed the Panama Canal not once, not twice, but four times.

After her death, I felt many things. Loss, anger, sadness.

I'm not going to sugar-coat anything and say that I handled my grief and moved on with my life. Because I didn't. I missed a week of school and it took me an entire month to make up all of my work, not to mention present my ninth grade speech to roughly 400 people 24 days after her death. As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I became more and more depressed. None of my friends understood why and one of my closest friends didn't even know that my Grandmother had passed away until this past May. I still think of her everyday and I have a chair in my room from her house, as well as her trunk and pearls from Japan.  I also wear her watch, and I think of her every time I glance at it.

Although it has been a three years since her death today, I am still not free of grief.  I don't know if I ever will be, and I still have a lot of anger and confusion towards that day and the weeks before and after. 

I will always cherish her love of seafood, the many Saturday nights spent talking at her house, riding in her RED Nissan Altima, helping her garden her flowers at her house, having snacks with her after school, running into her at the grocery store, learning how to knit with her, going to the library to visit her when she volunteered there, going to Starbucks before and after many doctors appointments, shopping on the Naval Base, visiting Florida, Texas, South Carolina and everywhere in between, and listening to her rant about everything from the weather to her crazy neighbors.

And I do know one thing, I will always be her "Haley-Bug", she will always love me, and no matter if I'm out on the cross-country course, on the lacrosse field, at the piano or taking a math test, she's smiling down on me and hopefully she's proud of me.

Today, take a moment,

 let the people important to you know how much you love them, 

listen to your elders tell a story about their childhood or how they met their spouse,

cherish your children,

for you never know when you are going to have to say goodbye.

Have a blessed day, y'all.

xoxo,

Royar

{The Young Southern Prep}